A life of faith hope and acceptance
About Aunt Kathy
In order for us to develop into the people society needs, I feel we must have role ,models and characters that help weave the fibers of what defines us as individuals. I met Aunt Kathy because she was my bride’s aunt. I had only met her a few times before I put a story, (A Boy Named Ben1) about her son who was killed in Iraq, in Dr. Mitchell’s and my second book1. I recall the day driving down I-95 when she called and said, “come see me.” As a student of catholic education, I was no angel. So, the idea of a former catholic nun asking me to see her left me very anxious. I will always recall the first visit after being beckoned. I stood before her as a student of life, but she saw things in me that I did not see. To me, Aunt Kathy was the perfect mixture of role model and character. There was a side of her that was still very much a catholic nun, but then there was the side of her that was the very practical, strong farmer’s wife. At her core she was an educator, a navigator, and wisdom flowed through her. I was so inspired by her life, her unclaimed struggles and her sixth sense of what mattered that I wanted to capture that in a book for others. I immediately started writing about her life. The lens that most recall in the later years of Aunt Kathy’s life, takes place on her modest front porch. It was there I explained to her that I was writing about her life. She asked, “Why would you write about my life?” I said, because of your faith in life.” She said, “Don’t you mean my faith in God?” To which I replied, “no, your devoted faith in life.” I continued to write but then one day I stopped. On that same front porch, I told Aunt Kathy I stopped writing her book. She asked why. I sat before her not as a student but a guide and said, “you need to die in order for me to write the book.” She just smiled and said, “ok.” There is no doubt that a book on the inspiration and very powerful life of Kathy Smith, AKA the Hybrid Nun will help others develop into the people our society needs. But Aunt Kathy’s insight into my soul and her words that drive that sixth sense left me conflicted that a book was not enough. Aunt Kathy was a riddle-master with her words, “You have a message.” She never told me what the message was. It was like she knew but it was my job to figure it out. So, I stumble, fall, pick myself up and ask her more than a few times what am I supposed to do now. The last minutes of my 30-year career were spent with us driving in my truck. Minutes and moments that seemed to gleam with passion and purpose. There are times when I open my heart wide, and I can still feel her holding my hand and slapping me on the back of the head to pull my head out of my butt. I tried to finish the book after Aunt Kathy died, but my head was not in the right place. Her book is back to being written but not on paper yet. I sit with her on that front porch and write about the role model and character I miss, but I realize she can do a lot more on the other side than on this side. On a daily basis I can hear her go-to mantra “Offer It Up.” So I do. + After Aunt Kathy left the convent, she married my bride’s uncle, and they raised their six children in an old farm rock house. The stories from that old rock house were told many times on the front porch of the more modern house she spent her final years in. Even though the old rock house is now a pile of rocks, its strength is still very present in the foundation of her life, and all the lives she touched being that Hybrid Nun. I had the pleasure of spending a few hours with Aunt Kathy one afternoon around the rubble of that rock house. We were picking up pears from the old pear tree next to the rubble. She was not so comfortable with the uneven ground, and I felt more like a guardian than a student, or a guide. Growing from the rubble was a thorn tree. I stood before her as a student and asked, ” Aunt Kathy, why would God make a thorn tree?” She looked over at me and stood like the teacher and nun and pulled her eyes tight like she was aiming. Time seemed to stand still as I awaited this biblical answer full of wisdom. She spoke with no hesitation or intensity. “Hell if I know.” later that day as we stood on the front porch getting ready to drive back home, she placed both her hands on the sides of my head and prayed for our safe arrival home. The complete package – a character and a role model. The Hybrid Nun. The Aunt Kathy’s Rock House Foundation was formed simply to help others. It’s not a foundation to memorialize Aunt Kathy’s life. She would not want that. Her life was full of inspiration, but I doubt she saw it that way. Her life was simply, her life. So why form a nonprofit to help others embrace autism and first responders find their way back home? Because it just feels so right.